Second Wedding, Do It Right This Time…

Tradition and etiquette dictates that second weddings should be simple and casual instead of being formal and extravagant. However, the number of second or encore wedding is sharply growing each year. Such ceremony is designed to celebrate two people who want to embark on a new marriage with different partners.

Etiquette In Announcing Your Engagement

The immediate concern in planning a second wedding is how to announce this to your children. The children should always be the first be notified of your decision to remarry, as this will combine two already-established families. Expect you children to be stressed by your move and they will need a certain amount of time to accept the situation.

The bride and groom’s parents should be the next to be informed and then the respective ex’s. The ex-wife or ex-husband should make an effort to appease the children and reassure them about their roles in the new family.

Engagement rings from the past should not be worn anymore based on second wedding etiquette. All signs of previous relationships should be taken away once planning for the wedding and announcements are made.

A second marriage can be announced informally such as advertising it in the newspaper, making e-mails and phone calls. Under second wedding etiquette, the couple does not have to host an engagement party but a small gathering can be organized where you can make that important announcement.

Who’s Going?

Just about anybody can attend your second wedding. However, in observance of second wedding etiquette ex-spouses and former in-laws should not be invited even if you are in speaking terms to avoid awkwardness among the other guests.

The bride and groom should calculate a realistic budget for the wedding. This is a rare chance to again have the wedding of your dreams, it could be elegant, extravagant and intimate.

Vows and Ceremonies

Second wedding are normally made in civil ceremonies but can also be done in a religious ceremony. They are many ways to make the ceremony fell very intimate and special. Writing vows is common among second wedding and there is an abundance of books written about it. The children can be assigned to do an important part of the ceremony in order to foster unity. They can escort you while walking the aisle, read passages from the bible or serve as attendants in the event.

The closest family members and friends of the new couple can walk down the aisle or no one at all.

Are Bridal Showers Needed?
Bridal showers for encore brides are normally but this need to adhere with second etiquette rules.

–  Only guests should be invited
–  Club, Office and school showers can also be done and can be attende by other not on the official guest list. However, those that attended the bride’s first wedding should not participate.

Wedding Gifts and Registry

Guest should make they register. Some guests will have the uncontrollable urge to give something even if the couple does not want gifts.  It’s also acceptable for encore couples to sign in the gift registry.

Wedding Gift Ideas for Second Marriages
Gift certificates—restaurants, spas, stores
DVD player and DVDs
Charity Donatios
Coffee maker, pasta maker, cook books

Wedding Receptions and Parties
The reception of a second wedding may be extravagant or simple depending on the taste of the couple. The bride and gross will be first at the line and followed by their children. The traditional garter and bridal bouquet toss are optional.

Not Necessary In A Second Marriage

Rehearsal Dinner
Attendants
Accompanying the bride down the aisle
Procession

Advisable
–  Make a gift registry even if you don’t want gifts.
–  The children should have responsibilities in the ceremony.
–  Customize and personalize the wedding and reception.

Please Avoid
–  Doing the same things like in your first wedding.
–  Wearing a similar wedding dress.
–  Marry in the exact spot of your first wedding.
–  Use old rings from a past marriage.
–  Criticizing former spouses

Optional

–  Showers
–  Engagement Party
–  Announcement in the newspaper
–  Rehearsal Dinner
–  A lavish wedding with attendants
–  Parents walking down the aisle
–  A different color for the wedding dress instead of white

Read More Wedding Etiquette Secrets Here

Wedding Music

Music can really enhance the ambience of your wedding. Music has the unique quality of affecting the mood and setting pace for any occasion. Hitting the right notes is very important.

The church ceremony
If you are having a church wedding, it would be best if you would speak to your minister about the music you want played. The minister can then advise you on the equipment available and the quality of the players. You can also ask the minister to allow one of your friends or someone else you recommend to playing the pieces you want played. Do not constrict yourself to the competency of the church organist. The church ceremony should include four different sections in your music for the prelude, the processional, the signing of the register and the recessional. Prelude should consist of music that sets the mood to be joyous and positive in anticipation of the ceremony. The Processional would be played on arrival of the bride and the music should lend grace and regality to the occasion of the bride’s journey to the groom waiting at the altar. Signing of the Register can have traditional or modern pieces playing and you could have yours or your bride’s favorite pieces playing. Celebratory, joyful and triumphant music sets the background for the recessional. You could use some hymns during the service, depending upon your tastes. In case you are getting married in the registrar’s office or at any other approved premises, you need to get an approval from the registrar to play non-religious music. While discussing the ceremony, it is best to discuss the music with the registrar to get their approval for the music you want played.

Reception
At your reception you are free to play any music you want to. You could consider using a live band or a DJ for the purpose. Choose your music according to the age of the group of guest you have invited and still create a party ambience right for dancing. Tradition has it that the bride and groom have the first dance on the reception evening, normally a waltz. However, with ball room dancing skills not being widespread, it may be best to dance to a favorite romantic number. During the song, tradition has it that the groom dances with his new mother-in-law and then with his mother, while the bride dances with her new father-in-law and then with her father. In comes the best man with the bridesmaids as first change to finish the first dance whereupon the guests are free to join the fun. Irrespective of which first dance song you choose, try and keep the mood at the romantic best. Many couples prefer live music at their wedding because they believe that it makes a difference to the ambience as well as render the natural quality to the music being played. Live music can be a full orchestra, a group of musicians or even a soloist. Selecting live music can also be beneficial to your budget. You could select a group and the number of musicians according to your budget. Much less expensive would be to have recorded music or a DJ at your wedding reception. The advantage of having a DJ is that the music will never be interrupted. Make sure the DJ is experienced in playing at wedding receptions.

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Source: Wedding Reception

Destination Wedding Etiquette

Destination weddings are very popular.  In fact, in some ways, etiquette rules have not yet caught up to the destination theme at all!  Yet, when it comes to this type of wedding style, you really do have a lot to think about before you go off to get married.

Destination weddings are weddings in which you will travel to a location other than any place near to you, to be married.  These weddings are common in resorts and other fabulous places.  Yet, although they are so popular, that does not mean that they are the best choice for everyone, especially those with a large family that is expecting a large celebration of the wedding.

While the ultimate decision about a destination wedding is all up to you, it is common practice to insure that the wedding satisfies everyone’s needs.  Here are some basic tips that we will expand on later.

Tip One: 

Do not expect the world to follow you to your destination wedding.  Not many of your guests will be able to afford it, find travel arrangements or get off of work to go.  So, expect for some not to be able to come with you for your wedding.

Tip Two: 

Send out invitations and ‘hold the date’ cards to your guest well in advance.  Several months should be given if you except them to come so that they can get the proper travel arrangements made including the necessary legal documents if it is out of the country.

Tip Three:

Do something for those that can not make it to your wedding but are close enough to you that want to celebrate your wedding with you at home.  For example, you can have your wedding ceremony in Hawaii, but have a reception back at home too for those that could not make it.

Etiquette For The Wedding

There are several things that come into play when it comes to a destination wedding ceremony.  The first is the cost.  Unlike a traditional wedding ceremony, it is not going to fly for the parents to pay for this type of wedding celebration, especially when most are counting on that big wedding to celebrate your marriage.

So, if you plan to have a destination wedding, plan to sit down and talk to those that will be paying for it.  There are many additional costs folded into the wedding itself here.

One benefit to the wedding destination is that most will take care of all of the planning for your wedding for you.  They can help you to make arrangements for the ceremony, lodging, foods, and even for legal requirements.  This does lessen the amount of planning that you will be required to do, but it may also limit you to what you can do yourself.  Depending on the level of comfort you have in giving someone else the ability to handle your wedding, should be a consideration here.